For example, if you want to gab your way into or rapidly exit out of the lives of strangers you could: acquire a lisping, illiterate Cuban father that arrived in the United States via inner tube; pretend that you are pregnant and then justify your excessive drinking by declaring that you are giving the baby up for adoption; discuss your family's 100% ownership of American Airlines; or pretend a pyromaniac child at the Boys and Girls Club (where you donate the majority of your waking hours) burned your bangs off, to explain a haircut gone awry.
In My Horizontal Life, Handler was not going to be incriminated alone in the play back of her sexual big hits and botch jobs.
These lovable runty whores may clock in at a staggering 3 feet, but they no doubt make up with their super-sized appetite for sex!
Is it wrong to hoist up one of these munchkins like a rag doll and submit them to outrageous hardcore fucking? These little people are people too and deserve every bit of the right to the pursuit of happiness until the goddamned wheels fall off!
After the reader understands the visual assault that Handler begins childhood with (I will not repeat for fear of causing someone to seize) she fast forwards to her post-high school years.
A time that involved a gamut of questionable men such as a non-English speaker wanted by the law, a stripper, "the type of blue-collar alcoholic that you could have a solid fling with", a prostitute and a slue of men ranging from king-sized to puny. Handler, with her side-splitting humor shows readers, that in order to be successful at one-nighters or at least to exit them with a wee amount of self respect you need the talent to: lie, lie, lie.
See these ultra-small diminutive midget queens wrestle with trouser snakes literally bigger than their fucking limbs, then watch in disbelief as these tiny angels wet up a prick and make it disappear in their mini muffs.
Don't "short" yourself out of this midget extravaganza!
Including her mother who spent Handler's "entire childhood taking naps" and who would "rather set herself on fire" than attend parent teacher conferences.© Copyright 2017, Moonlite Bunny Ranch Content presented on this site, including pictures, videos, and other media are sexual in nature.Are you looking for something unusual,outrageous and short? They will mingle with your guests impressing them with theircharming personalities and quick wit humor.Brown recounts how it was Whitney who encouraged him to have as much sex as possible before their marriage, saying she wanted the then 23-year-old to get all 'the partying and f*****g around out of my system.' Bombshell: Bobby Brown has revealed he had sex with a midget during his bachelor party before tying the knot with Whitney Houston in July 1992. Whitney is pictured with her daughter in an undated photograph Regrets: A tearful Brown appeared on ABC's 20/20 this week where he spoke about his troubled relationship with the late star who was found dead in a hotel bathtub on February 11, 2012, at the age of 48Following his divorce from Whitney, bobby remarried to Alicia Etheredge with whom he has a one-year-old daughter and a seven-year-old son.'The night with the midget blew my mind,' he wrote in his new memoir'When I confronted her about it, she was insistent. In February, the couple confirmed they are expecting a third child together.